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July 15, 2013: Brooklyn, NY
Opening Promo: New RAW GM Brad Maddox comes out to a drum roll. He announces a rematch between Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler, and then John Cena makes his grand entrance. Maddox tells Cena he gets to choose his own opponent for Summer Slam. Cena says Maddox is insane. He could choose one of the Bella Twins if he wanted to.
Suddenly, Randy Orton comes out with the MITB briefcase. He tells Cena when he cashes in his MITB contract, “you’ll never see it coming.” Suddenly the calypso music from hell plays. It’s Fandango. He draws out a challenge to Cena, getting him to say his name. Just as Cena gets to the O part, Orton jumps Fandango. Brawldom ensues, and Maddox announces the first match will be…
Match: Randy Orton vs. Fandango (with Summer Rae)
The action spills OOR, where Orton goes all Zimmerman on Fandango. After returning to the ring, Fanny has a chinlock on Orton, and the announcers talk about 90′s rappers. Orton gives Fanny ten fists in the corner (that didn’t come out right), then they go back OOR and Fanny throws him into the steps of steel.
ACB, Fandango counters Orton’s backbreaker with a side suplex. Orton comes back with a T-Bone Suplex. He then takes Fandango up top and delivers a sky-high Superflex. Orton then starts to hear the voices, but Fandango kicks him in the head and climbs up top. Orton catches him and DDTs him off the second rope. RKO follows for the win.
Match: World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler
Prior to the match, Ziggler breaks up with AJ backstage. As the match progresses, Ziggler works the crowd with his new babyface magic. Del Rio maneuvers him into a Reverse Superflex off the top. Ziggy comes back with clotheslines, then misses an attack and takes a high flight OOR. Best seller in the business.
ACB, Del Rio is in charge and smirks triumphantly. Dolph comes back with a reverse bulldog and the two engage in a slugfest. Ziggler continues to counter Del Rio’s attacks, but with continually lessening effort. Del Rio sets him up for the Cross-Arm Breaker, but Ziggler counters with a reverse neckbreaker. Zig takes Del Rio down with a desperate Zigzag, but then the bell rings. AJ is shown to be the guilty culprit, and Ziggy wails. Del Rio sneaks up behind him and superkicks him in the head for the win.
After the match, Ziggler and AJ get in a fight, but Big E makes the save and takes Zig out with the Big Ending. AJ then kisses Dolph and smiles wickedly.
Match: R Truth vs. ?
Truth comes out doing his What’s Up routine, but the lights go dark. Bray Wyatt is lighting a lantern on the Jumbo Tron and says “we’re here.” Bray emerges from the darkness with his lantern and somberly marches to his rocking chair at ringside. When the lights return, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan are beating up on Truth.
I like this angle. It reminds me of my hometown. Let me tell you, you haven’t lived the cult life until the police raid your compound looking for Amber Alerts. Bray makes a cult leader speech, and Truth comes in the ring with a chair. Bray taunts him while the cult brothers sneak up from behind. They grab Truth, and Bray plows into him. I was hoping he’d do the monster-and-dead-girl dance with Truth, but it didn’t happen. Bray takes out Truth with the Sister Abigail, and then the Wyatts do the Ominous Group Pose.
Match: The Real Americans (Antonio Cesaro and Jack Swagger, with Zeb Colter) vs. The Usos
Cesaro throws Jay with a Gutwrench Salvo. Swagger tags in and nails a Swagger Bomb. Cesaro and Swagger team on Jay, who then fights out and tags in Jimmy. Cesaro tries a Neutralizer, but Jimmy reverses into a rollup for the win.
Match: Damian Sandow vs. Christian
Sandow plays the cowardly heel bit, then tricks Christian and pushes him off the top corner. He then sets up Christian on the top, but Xtian takes him down with a Tornado DDT. Christian gets off a series of high flying moves, but Damian counters with a Russian Neckbreaker and sets him up for an Elbow of Disdain. Christian suddenly traps him in a surprise rollup for the win.
Divas Match: Bree Bella (with Nikki) vs. Naomi (with Cameron)
Lawler says that Bree once told him “All men are pigs, but I like bacon.” Naomi dominates with acrobat moves at first, but Bella gains the upper hand and makes naughty gestures. Naomi comes back with a flying butt to the face (otherwise known as the Rear View) and gets off a Lateral Press for the win.
Promo: Paul Heyman and CM Punk verbally burn down the arena like Shakespearean actors. Mere words cannot describe their mike work. Heyman calls out Brock Lesnar, and he and Punk brawl. Punk is still groggy from MITB, but gives a good fight until Brock F-5s him on the announcers table.
Match: RVD vs. Chris Jericho
The two start with old school mat wrestling. Jericho gains the upper hand, but Van Dam comes back with a series of his signature moves. Jericho comes back in charge with suplexes and dropkicks to the head. Jericho works Van Dam over for a while, then tries to suplex him OOR. Van Dam counters out and superkicks him in the bicuspids.
Van Dam traps Jericho with Legscissors, and then Jericho counters with a Powerbomb. Van Dam tries a Rolling Thunder, but Jericho bails OOR, so Van leaps over the top and Moonsaults Jericho. ACB, RVD and Jericho exchange series of high-flying moves. Jericho misses a Lionsault, and RVD nails him with Rolling Thunder. Jericho retaliates with a DDT, then tries another Walls of Jericho, but RVD fights out. He misses a Moonsault, and Jericho hits him with a Lionsault for two. Jericho attempts a Superflex, but Rob counters with a headbutt and Moonsault. RVD goes for another attack, but Jericho counters with a successful Walls of Jericho. RVD reaches the ropes, then delivers a Five-Star Frogsplash for the win. Awesome TV match.
Closing Promo: The entire locker room is out on stage to see who John Cena will choose for his opponent at Summerslam. Cena announces he’s letting the fans decide. In the best faith healer-type of audience maneuvering, Cena chooses Daniel Bryan. Yes! Yes! YESSS!